Why love if losing hurts so much?

We love to know that we are not alone.
♥ There isn't a warranty period for memories, so I got smart and made myself a warranty card.


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I'd love to know someone visited.
Please leave a hug after reading, if you're willing.
I collect hugs (and chocolate kisses too)!

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post labels ✤

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.simple songs with pretty words.
.chinese.
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➥ click and away

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.哈哈 893. 爱 FM .以量. .心语诉心馆. .心语创作纺.
.幸福攝影家. .宇晴. .晓曼. .苏打绿 青峰微博.
.五月天 阿信博客. .五月天 阿信微博. .艾尼麻.

xoxo xoxo

♫ credits

hopmad, banner, icons, post pictures' sources
p.s.
all pictures used are obtained from the net,
unless stated otherwise.

.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

这善变的世界 难得有你
让我们数着星星一起老去

This ever-changing world, it's precious to have you
Let's grow old together, counting the stars



She is the girl who plays with words, they have been her favourite toy for as long as she could remember.

Some words are so easy to use, the I, Me and Myself, so short and simple we literally use it all the time.
        "Yes, I did this all by myself."
        "No, It wasn't me."


Others more difficult to utter, the thank you-s and sorry-s that may take a while to escape our lips.
        "Thank you for all that you've done for me."
        "Thank you for everything you could have used to hurt me, but you didn't."
        "I'm sorry it ever happened."

Some words are magical, the love and the hate, they can make and break.
        "I love you too."
        "Please don't hate me."

Forever is a magical word.  :)
And this girl, well, she has always been extra careful with magic.
'Cause a little magic is fun, but you don't play with magic, do you?
You only use it when you are fully aware of what comes next, if you don't want any trouble.

Friendship forever, that's what people always say, but not this girl.
Only a handful have received her magical promise, and these special people know their own names. 

Thursday, August 7, 2014


The way she sweated and her hands were sticky,
and the way his fingers were stuck in between hers.

The way she looked into his eyes and he looked into hers, 
and for a long time no one spoke.

The way tears filled those eyes and the gentle hands that wiped them off,
belonged to a man with red eyes too.

The way the words that never came out right
made their way to the heart.

She never imagined it could happen to her,
but it did.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

I feel a chill in the air, see the trees are nearly bare;
I watch the couples talking, laughing without care.

I wish that you could be here,  I see your face everywhere;
I would do anything to have you close and near.

Uh oh, uh oh, to have you close and near.
Uh oh, uh oh, I wish that you were here.



It began with a fallen leaf,  Priscilla Ahn

Saturday, July 19, 2014

没有什么值得等待,我们不知道明天会不会来。

There is nothing worth waiting,
We don't know for sure if tomorrow is coming.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Sometimes I think of the sun and the moon as lovers who rarely meet, always chase, and always miss one another.
But once in a while, they do catch up, and they kiss, and the world stares in awe of their eclipse.
-Taken from Fb

Thursday, June 12, 2014

I will always remember what a DJ said one night (I think it was new year's eve), sharing about a photography gallery he went to visit, and a photograph that changed his mind about the romantics of fireworks.

"The photograph showed little children, their hands and legs, their faces and their clothes dusty and dirty. These children worked for a factory making fireworks, because they were the cheapest labour and what seemed best for the business. But these children had no insurance, no education, they didn't know if any accidents were to happen, the dust on them which is exactly the same ingredient they put into the fire crackers, will burn them first, they will be the first people to explode and die. Ever since I saw that photograph, I have never looked at fireworks the same way I used to. They were just not exciting and beautiful anymore, all I could see was the children used in this industry."

12 June, in conjunction with World Day against Child Labour.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

我是喜欢漂亮文字的女孩,喜欢用美丽的方式写个长篇大论的文章,说着他有多重要 。
他却不是擅长文字游戏的男孩,不是很会用甜言蜜语来哄我,有时还会不小心讲错话。。。

“虽然有很多女生比你漂亮,比你了解我,比你好的,可是我都不可能会去喜欢。”
(先生请问我是该开心因为你答应要专一,还是该伤心因为我不是最漂亮的?烦恼噢噢噢,哈哈!)

可能,我读的小说太多了吧?害得他平时说的话普通得不会让我有掉进童话世界的感觉。
所以我有时难免会羡慕其他甜到报表的情侣,为什么他们那么恩爱,都不会腻的吗?

但其实我更加感恩,这个他和其他人不一样。
这样一来,他用行动告诉我更多的事。

他每天用早安晚安说他想我,通过自己生活中的小习惯告诉我他愿意怎么为我改变,发噩梦因为怕我离开。
我喜欢他说有事情和我讨论,好像要我的意见是有分量的。
我喜欢他说着今天上课学了什么,喜欢他说今天去了哪里干了什么,好像给我机会参与他的生活。
然后我很喜欢他指着黑人范范,指着我的外公外婆,告诉我想要怎么样一直努力走下去。

因为金口难开,他偶尔用美丽的文字的时候,我就会心里开了小花,一点也不需要怀疑,那是不是真心的。
因为他不是一个爱写字的人,编不出漂亮的故事,只能说真话。

Saturday, May 17, 2014

They say challenges makes love stronger,
I hope it's true;
'Cause every time I fear and shiver,
I can't help but wonder, where are you?

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder,
I suppose it's true;
'Cause every time my heart wanders,
It reaches out for you.

They say all things good are worth the wait,
I know it's true;
'Cause every time I complain that you come late,
I know you don't want it this way too.

So near yet so far,
Oh, holidays!

#studentlife

Friday, May 9, 2014

She sits and reads, lost in a world of her own.
He lays back just to watch her, she is his world.

这是我想要的幸福。

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

正在拥有的一切都不是偶然的,是你努力让我看见的。
感恩有你。

All that I have now is not by chance, it's what you worked so hard for, so I could see, so we could love.
I give thanks.  :)

Monday, March 10, 2014

hzDU0

《关于纪念日这回事》

其实特别的不是日子,
是你。

Sunday, March 2, 2014

All those years ago, we called ourselves friends forever.  
Now, I know you're a miracle.








Friday, February 28, 2014

恋爱中的人说:  
我爱你,我会好好疼你,所以让我照顾你吧。

可是懂爱的人说:  
我爱你,所以我会好好照顾我自己,为了你。
你也要照顾好你自己,为我们。

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

我想要你激励我,鼓励我,启发我去做我没有过的事,成为更好的人。
请你牵着我,到我去到更高的地方。

我不要你填满我的空虚,我要你教我自己填满心里的缺口。
我要你陪着我,看着我填满我自己的心。

因为只有这样,在我跟你说“我爱你”的那一天,你才会知道我是全心全意说的。
我要用完整的心说爱你,不可以有寂寞的空洞。

Inspire me, please.
Don't just fill the hole in my heart, dear.
I don't want you to fill my heart with all things sweet, I want you to teach me and show me ways I can fill it on my own.
So that when I say I love you, you will know that I say it with a full heart out of truth, not out of loneliness.

Friday, February 14, 2014

It's such a big word I dare not utter it.
It's such a huge burden I dare not touch it.
It's such a magical spell, I dare not use it.

But you gave it to me, and you said it's love.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

I thought I could never clear my heart of those things, people, moments and futures that didn't belong to me..
They just took up too much space.

But you told me there is space for me in yours.

Friday, February 7, 2014

没机会一起唱的那些歌,却已经深印在脑海里。

Labels:

Sunday, December 1, 2013

She likes December.

She has always thought of December as tough but gentle.  He is like a scheduled spring clean, always there in the ugliest times of the year, at the end of it when all energy is almost used up and everything's in a mess.  He's a quiet one, gently taking in all her complaints and miseries of unfulfilled dreams.  He's a gentle one, quietly taking in bigger dreams for a newer year.  He will help pick her up from her mistakes, patch up her confidence, polish her trophies and glories, and then pack her bags for a new beginning.  And he will pack in a bit of his own love, praying it will be of use when circumstances arise in the unknown year.  He will be by her side for thirty-one days and thirty-one nights, to the end.  He will be the one who understands her the most, because when she was most vulnerable, he was the one who was there.  He gave her time because he knew she needed it, thirty-one days to be ready again for new challenges to come.

It was time enough to fall in love, thirty-one days, but December knew when to let go, when she needed him no more.  He knew she had other choices; for instance, January has always been interesting, brave and charming, always the first to come out and fight the new year.  Maybe she'd be more happy with the others.  December hadn't much self esteem, you see, he always came last in school where they taught the calendar.

But she likes December, especially the first of December, when they always meet again, finally, after one whole year.  To her, it was like a new chance, a new reason to look forward to an uncertainty.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

I want to go to the beach, waddle in the water, get wet, like those letters tucked safely in a locked drawer, tear stained.
I want to bury myself in sand, like memories buried in a faraway land.

I want to build a dozen sandcastles, a little empire to call mine.  Inside, I will have a house that smells like home.
I will build another dozen sandcastles for you, another world to be called yours; different but no more or less.
And inside, I pray you live a life long enough to love.

And that is how we will be living, in two separate cities, spread across a big blue sea.  We'll share nothing in common, probably.
But the air you breathe sustains me, and the sun that you see every morning, is the same one that reaches me.

One day, we might go travelling, who knows?  We might stumble into each other's dreams, and leave a footprint there, carelessly.
Just like my beautiful daughter did as she took her first step away from my arms into her own world.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Pretending is an interesting business, practice really makes perfect.
Everyday you pretend a little bit better until one day it becomes so natural and then you don't even have to pretend anymore.
It becomes true.

What about dreams?
Can the castle I practice painting in the sky gain weight each time I dream of it?
Will there be a day when it touches the ground and finally becomes solid and real?
Will you hold my hand and walk into my dream together then?

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Long live all the magic we made.


Can you please take a moment, promise me this?
That you'll stand by me forever
but if God forbid fate should step in
and force us into a goodbye.

If you have children someday, 
when they point to the pictures, 
please tell them my name.
Tell them how the crowds went wild, 
tell them how I hope they shine.

Long live all the walls we crashed through,
I had the time of my life, with you.

Friday, October 4, 2013


Felt a strong and sudden urge to read my old writings this evening.
And so, I spent the past two hours generally scanning through some of my work in the past two or three years.
Some of them were shared publicly here, some in a previous blog; some left as drafts in pendrives and emails, some scribbled in a small notebook....
I like do this once in a while, digging up old memories; how about you?

Today, these few lines written back in February 2010 caught my eye.

"I want to see you now.
I want to tell you I'm sorry.
I don't need to be forgiven but I need to apologize."

As of now, I haven't had the chance to meet up with this person and apologize.  I'm pretty sure he would have forgotten the lies I told him once upon a time.  And I'm pretty sure if I bump into him tomorrow during lunch or dinner, I'd smile and say 'hi', but I will definitely not bring this awkwardness up by saying 'sorry'.  I don't think it matters anymore.

Still, it never fails to amaze me how I know I will lose sleep again tonight because of some twenty simple words I wrote three years ago.  And that is why I write, to feel the adrenaline rush, the excitement of the magical connection between letters and human.  Ahh, what love.  :)

Wednesday, October 2, 2013


No mater how far a migratory bird may fly, it always misses the south.
The heaven of a traveller who has been to the ends of the earth, is still home.
My next stop, I can't be sure yet whether it'll be cold or warm.
When dawn breaks, I will leave again.

If I come back, will there be someone waiting?
If I am lonely, is there anyone who understands?
I imagine us meeting again, but I fear I have no courage
to wish to be in your arms.

There's an echo from the tunnel of past times,
won't you listen to that?
That is what we had back then,
a happy pinky promise.

Some people stay in our hearts, unforgotten.
Some things, some dreams, are yet to have a definite answer.
Some words, the harder it is to say,
the lovelier they will sound.
Let us come close, I wish to tell you quietly
how much I love you.

This heart of mine is still there, it never left.
I went all around the world, but what is most precious is you.
Do you still remember your favourite song?  Let me sing it for you
and tell you quietly how much I love you.

The original song in Mandarin:  悄悄告诉你 / 范玮琪  (link)
*I did not translate word for word, I just wrote what I think the song wanted to say in simple English.

Saturday, September 28, 2013


His heart small, like his closed little fist, unable to hold half a world without it slipping away between his fingers.
Can a human heart possibly be filled with overflowing emptiness?

Thursday, September 26, 2013

I miss the ticking of your hands, the stories you tell over the years.
I miss your warmth, the pressure I feel the way you grab my wrist.
But now, you hold on to another's hand, and you give her all your time.
Her time too, becomes yours.


You are the watch I left behind at a hotel last vacation.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013


誰說這是一個殘缺的世界 我卻因妳而完整

如果妳害怕明天危險 我願抱著妳冒險
就算只剩下一天 也要緊握妳的手
逆著風 闖世界的盡頭


残缺的完整 / 动力火车

Translation:

Who says this is an imperfect world?  But because of you, I am complete and whole.
If you fear tomorrow, I will carry you as we face the risks.
Even if there is only one last day left, I will hold your hand, tight.
We will face the stormy winds, and reach the ends of earth.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Today's Challenge:
Write a letter to someone you love.  Could be a friend, a family member, or even your pet.
Doesn't have to be too long, just so you feel the excitement I do when my pen scratches across my pieces of paper.
They make the sweetest hum of love ever.

If you'll like, share it with me?  :)
-hugs-

Sunday, September 22, 2013


No one knows where we'll be
No one knows how we'll meet
No one knows how long before you're here with me

No one knows why we fear
No one knows what we'll see
No one knows when all the answers will be near

(从一片落叶开始 / 苏打绿)
(It begins with a fallen leaf / Sodagreen)

Friday, September 20, 2013


"If you can dream it, you can do it."
Walter Elias Disney

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Dear Reader(s),

It's been a few busy months, and my writer's mind has been a bit lazy.  Lacking inspiration, I think?  Probably partly because one of my favourite inspirations, my crush-friend, has now started to really become a friend.  He is now half a day behind me, at another end of the globe.  And I am happy with this distance, it makes us able to move forward.  I imagine our friendship to go a long way ahead.  :)

And speaking of friendships, a fond friend of mine just texted me yesterday.  He was going to have a math exam and got too bored with his revision, he started to count the number of days we knew each other.  Coincidentally, it was the 1000th day since we first talked!  Gee, how many thousand days does one have in a lifetime?  Some have more, some have less.  Up to now, I lived some six thousand over days.  But what have I done with my days, all those days that another being did not have a chance to live?

How about you?  What did you do your with your past 1000 days?  And what do you have in store for the next 1000 days?  Honestly, I don't have a direct answer at my fingertips myself, but I will try to plan something sometime soon.  Will you do that too, and then share it with me?  Please?

Hmm.  I survived two and a half semesters in my pre-u, with just another two months to go before the finals, and then my first year in degree.  Am very much enjoying all the classes I have, I really have chosen a field I enjoy:  TESL.  Though this semester, somewhere in the middle of class, we were exposed to what might be in store for us as future teachers.  Our pay will not be very high, and the inflation rates, especially those in my country, will be very high.  I fear for not having enough money, and I fear that will make me hate my job.  If that happens, will you be reading my blog and help me bring more readers so I can earn from ads?  I hope I don't have to do that, I like my blog the way it is now, clean and ad-free.  Anyways, for now, I still love what I'm doing, and I do not plan on quitting.

These few busy months have made me want to write more.  Could this be because stress and work always makes me feel rebellious, so I'd like to spend time doing something 'not so important', which is to write?  I chuckle when I know it is true and untrue at the same time.  Writing is so important to me.

Just the other day, a friend of mine shared this (link) on my Facebook.  He saw a picture post about storytelling tips, and he thought of me.  How blessed it is to be the first person to pop into his mind when he came across those storytelling tips?  It makes me feel so much like an amazing storyteller, even though I'm not one yet.  It's such an encouragement to me, especially since I haven't had the time or energy to write for quite a while now.

And looking back at my last post, one of my favourite bloggers commented to saying "... looking forward to reading you more."  And that comment made my day, Raajii.  Here's a hug for you if you're reading this.    Thank you.  :)

Okay, now I better get back to my schoolwork.  Will make it an effort to update more often, (even if it might mean shorter posts).

Alive and Kicking,
Nic.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

You are a yellow scarf in autumn, the colour of a summer's day.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

They like to say falling in love is like finding the other piece of puzzle that fits yourself perfectly. But who ever said that we were born like puzzle pieces, with the missing edge and the protruding edge? I know I am a circle, and you are too, round and complete. But for each other, we give and we take, we take and we give more. Then finally, the world sees us as matching pieces of puzzle because they don’t realize we’re just two rounds who didn’t care about looking awkward, and still decided to hold each other in our hands. So we bow our heads and laugh together, and yet they make a picture out of our laughter.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Dearest Me,
The problem with you is that you keep wanting the things you can't have so badly.
If you could just let go and embrace things that actually belong to you and with you, 
why would you prefer to be miserable?
Think about it.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

I just had to make a picture post to share with you what we did last night for our King Lear Dramatisation.  :D
King Lear is a drama written by Shakespeare during the Elizabethan Era when Queen Elizabeth I reigned. You can click here to read a synopsis of the drama. We're doing this dramatization for our English Studies class as part of our assignment.  We did not do the whole drama, but chose some scenes to put together as our own adaptation.

Personally, I enjoyed the preparation and performance very much and our lecturers enjoyed our show too.  Can't put in words my joy and satisfaction of putting up a drama together as a team like this, it's my first time being so involved in a drama.  Hmm, am not going to post all the pics here, just a few sneak pics for you.


Preperation:  This was the first time we tried putting up our backdrop, it's really huge!  The dead tree next to it is twice my height!
We were trying to create a scene in the storm out in a heath.
This effect worked really well with the lighting on the actual day.

Preperation:  The French Camp scene backdrop.
There was also a map we drew, but I didn't take a good enough picture for it.  ><


Just before showtime:
This is Princess Cordelia from Team B.  Lovely dress, no?

Cordelia with her father, King Lear.
The old king gone mad after banishing his favourite daughter and being banished by his own two daughters who took his kingdom.
Our Cordelia really cried in the last scene of our dramatisation where she was reunited with her father.  :')


Our director, Cordelia and Kent.


The servant from Team A, my favourite picture of the day.

Myself, servant from Team B, trying to dress like a  British man back then.

The Fool from Team B.  The Fool's job is to entertain, comfort and advise the King.
The Fool is the greatest irony of the drama King Lear because he is actually very wise and not foolish at all in the play.
I'm very happy with this picture, I think this is the happiest picture I ever get of her,
she seldom smiles so widely like this.  :)

Poor Tom O'Bedlams from Teams A and B.
Poor Tom is the son of an Earl, a high class gentleman who disguised himself as a beggar when his father sought his death.
Who's more beggar-ish?  :P

Team A after the performance

Our team, Team B after the performance

Friday, May 3, 2013

Sometimes I wonder, what does a memory consist?
...........

Two tablespoons of joy,
100g of love,
a pinch of hurt, and
half a hate.

Mix them together and leave it to bake for 2 years.  
When cooled,
sprinkle a little loss on top.
...........

Is that all?

Thursday, May 2, 2013


多希望我还有赖在父亲肩膀上不肯下来的权利,你一定也是。

I wish to be like a child again, sitting straight and proud on my daddy's shoulders, 
Clinging tight, refusing to come down.
And he wouldn't mind, he'd carry me around the world with him.

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Sunday, April 14, 2013


Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, you owe me.
Look what happens with a love like that, it lights up the whole sky.
Hafiz

Hafiz, whose given name was Shams-ud-din Muhammad, was one of the greatest of Persia's mystical and lyrical Sufi poets. He was born in Shiraz in south-east Persia (modern Iran) c. 1320 and died c. 1389. He is affectionately known as "The Tongue of the Invisible".

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Updates on my first 25% of 2013 as promised.  :)  Have been busy with this and that, but I haven't forgotten about my other world here.

Am now in the second semester of my pre-university programme, it's busier than I imagined.  Honestly speaking, I always thought the teaching profession isn't really a profession that focuses on academic performance, I always thought that experience was the key and that the years in uni were just to widen our knowledge, not really to test our knowledge.

The semester started off well in January, We did a play, Florence; and after that we did a drama.  I was excited to do the drama King Lear by Shakespeare.  It was tough to understand the language, 'cause we weren't exposed to old English before.  But it started to get fun when we slowly got the idea how how the language worked itself out.  I really like studying literature, is that odd?

Going into February, I flew two flights back home for Chinese New Year.  Ahh, Chinese New Year, got to meet my old friends and my favourite teacher!  :D  For the first time in many many many years, I got myself two dresses to wear for new year.  I am not used to wearing dresses, and people are all the more not used to seeing me in dresses.  Anyways, it was okay in the end.  Learnt that when I slowly felt comfortable with myself in dresses, and when that happens, people feel comfortable with seeing me in them too.  :)

March was the busiest month of all.  We had sports day. And it was assignment month.  My worst habit of procrastinating caused me headaches when I had some eight assignments to do at one go.  (I have ten subjects this semester, and none of them are extras/electives.  I blame our education system, we don't get to choose what subjects we want to take here because we're under government sponsorship.)    We also had a mock exam.  Thank God all that is almost over for now.  -lets out deep breath-


I went to two book fairs in March, both with huge sales up to 90% discount!  Got more than a few books to savour. ♥  I finished two already, they are the first two books I read this year.  (hides face in shame, only 2 books in 3 months!)

I recommend "Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend" by Matthew Green.
It's written from the perspective of an imaginary friend, Budo.  His human friend, Max is autistic and they have been together for five years.  The book is in very simple English, like a child's because Max did not imagine Budo as a grown up.  I like reading stories about imaginary friends, they're pretty cool.  Do you have have anything to recommend for me?

Now reading:  The Tenth Circle by Jodi Picoult.
I just started the book, the first few chapters were good for me.  :)
But again, Jodi Picoult is almost always good for me, I dream to write like her someday.

Now, how about you?  How was your year so far?
Keep me updated too!  I want to hear your stories, or read them, leave me a hug!

Thank you for reading till the end, might be a lil' bit boring though I tried to avoid that.
To make it up, I shall post a short children's story next, perhaps?  



Sunday, March 31, 2013

Dearest Me,
March is gone, it's April now.
Yeap, one whole quarter of the year is gone, did you realize it?  I bet you didn't, 'cause I didn't too.
They say time flies when you're enjoying.  Have you been enjoying yourself?
Treasure the time you have, dearie, you don't know how much there is left.


Dearest You,
It has been a busy quarter of the year, and I foresee more coming my way.  
I will write a post to update you guys (are you still visiting?) in a next post soon.  Bug me if I don't.  ;)

Hmm.  Gentle reminder here:  Don't get fooled on April's Fool.  -grins-
And no, I was serious about that updating post, I promise it will be lengthy but not boring (hopefully).

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Actually, I am just a greedy child who is very easily satisfied.
I only yearn to be known and understood, missed and needed, hugged and then reminded how much you love me.

Friday, February 1, 2013

I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.  
Philippians 4:13

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Monday, January 28, 2013

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Friday, January 25, 2013

Malaysian news: A six year old, William was kidnapped eight days ago.  
Last night, a corpse was discovered at a river, and today it was identified that it was indeed little William who died. 

Little William and his two siblings were left on the car while their parents went to buy a washing machine. His younger sister soon started crying for mommy, so William went down the car to look for their mother to calm his sister down. He was kidnapped there and then. For eight days, people in my country have been frantically sharing William's photo on Facebook, hoping someone would have seen him somewhere. Police have carried out a nationwide search, everyone was praying for the boy to be found and returned to his family safely. But no, he died, killed and dumped into a river. An innocent young soul, he left at such a tender age.

As a teacher trainee, I couldn't help but wonder what has gone wrong with our education system?  Was it family background, peer influence, media influence, or the failure of education that lead to such a murder?  What can I do as a mere person to help to change this?  What can I do to prevent such a case among my future students?  Or is it just beyond my control after all? -insert confusion and fear-

But people, I didn't just want to share a sad story with you today. (Though yes, indeed, it was a sad story.)

Today is a reminder for me that, 世界越黑暗,我们越要努力发光。
The more evil there is in the world, the more good we shall do.
To outshine evil with good, to use generosity to repay brutality, this is the challenge for you, and for me.
I say all this, feeling good again about the things happening in the world.
But if I were to be in William's parents' shoes, how is it even possible to not hold a grudge?

Today, spend a minute to tell the people around you how much you love them. If you're too shy to say it, show them.
For no one knows how long these people will stay in our lives, or how long we'll stay in theirs.


.leave.a.hug.
...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

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小星星爱上了地球上的小明。
知道彼此的不可能,心碎的它让爱燃烧。最终成为流星。
它急速坠落,兴奋自己终于可以离小明近一点,却忘了自己已经粉身碎骨。
人们看着这份真心,也只能对着流星祝福许愿。
爱总是在消失前才最灿烂。


Have you ever thought of how shooting stars came to become? Here's a possible explanation:

Twinkle twinkle little star fell in love with John.  Knowing that it's impossible to be with him, Twinkie let her love burn, becoming a shooting star that scratched over the night sky.  Falling rapidly, Twinkie excitedly thought of how close she and John are going to become, finally on the ground together, no longer separated by a sea of darkness.  Twinkie didn't remember that to be on the ground, she had to first die as a star.  The people on earth who saw this true love could only wish upon a shooting star.  They say love is most beautiful just right before it dies off....

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Thursday, January 24, 2013

Joy comes from doing all you can for the people you love.  
I'm saying this from what I see today, a mother who spends her life loving her four children unconditionally.


Wednesday, January 16, 2013

I say I'm okay with letting go, but actually, not so.
So here I am, sharing a song with you guys again, another Mandarin song, 我最親愛的 My Dearest, by 張惠妹 A Mei.
(I hope non-mandarin readers won't find my constant Chinese posts too annoying.)
English translations are below, not direct translations, but something like a personal understanding of the song that I tried to express in English.
To listen to this song on Youtube, here's the link.  I hope you'll like it.


我想你一定喜欢 现在的我学会了你最爱的开朗 
想起你的模样 有什么错 还不能够被原谅 
世界不管怎样荒凉 爱过你就不怕孤单 

我最亲爱的 你过的怎么样 
没我的日子 你别来无恙 
依然亲爱的 我没让你失望 
让我亲一亲 像朋友一样 

虽然离开了你的时间 比一起还漫长 我们总能补偿 
因为中间空白的时光 如果还能分享 也是一种浪漫 
关系虽然不再一样 关心却怎么能说断就断 

English translations:
I'm sure you'll be happy to know, I have now learnt to do what you like most about me: smile beautiful smiles.
When I think of you, I think, what wrong have we done that couldn't be forgiven?
The world could be empty, but I'm not afraid to be lonely, because once upon a time, I was in love with you.

My dearest, how are you?  These days without me, is everything fine?  
My dear, I've not let you down.  Give me a kiss, just like old friends.

Though the days we spent without each other, are more than those spent together,
we'll fill those blanks in between, sharing our stories with each other.  Isn't that romantic too?
Our friendship now differs from what we could have had before,
but my love and care, how is it possible that they stop just like that?

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Saturday, January 12, 2013

How many of you remember this?  "And then I'd Smile"
When I told him he's one in a million, I meant to say he's special, he's different from all the other people I know.  When he jokingly got mad at only being one in a million and told me I'm one in 6.7 billion, I thought he meant I was one and only.  It was one of the sweetest things anyone ever told me, and I genuinely believed I could be his one in 6.7 billion.

Now, 0.4 billion people later, I find out it only meant that he was probably feeling poetic that morning.

If you have been following my posts, you'd know there's this friend-crush guy I've been crazy about for years.  Recently, we talked things out a bit and it turns out that he wasn't having mutual feelings for me.  I didn't have a good time accepting the fact at first, 'cause I seriously thought we'd have a chance together.  I couldn't be sure there'll be another guy I'd like as much as I liked him.  I don't think another guy will understand me the way I think he does, accept my broken self the way he does, and build me up when I was torn like he built me up from scratch.  I don't think I could love another person as innocently and unselfishly as I loved him.  No adult relationship can have such pure love as compared to a childhood crush that grew and developed over a period of about ten years, could it?  But now I'm starting to let this sink in.  How lucky am I to have friendship that's so golden?  A friend that has been there and will be there throughout the happy and sad times, isn't that lucky enough?  How could I even complain when there's absolutely everything to be grateful of?


The little girl couldn't stop crying.
"My teddy's lost at the railway station,
it didn't come home with me,
how will I sleep tonight?
The monsters will come and bite!"

Hush, my girl,
if you'll just lift your head, 
you'll see Papa painted angels in the clouds
above you up in the sky,
they'll take care of you."

Papa patted her to sleep 
and planted a kiss on her forehead,
no one can hurt her now.

I'm like the girl who lost her only favourite teddy, feeling scared and lonely.  But my Father in heaven knows what He's doing, He sends his angels to be with me, till one day, He'll give me a new teddy that'll I've love even more. Or maybe it could be a new book, or race car? I have no idea, but I'm sure it'll be the best.  I don't understand why some things happen sometimes, but I am learning to trust Him fully.

p.s.  
Dear Readers, I'll make it a point to update and post more often now.
Thank you for still visiting all this time when I was inactive on Blogger.  :')

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Friday, January 4, 2013

我感恩肩膀感觉酸的时候,身边有人愿意替我分担重量
还有些人,不是很会按摩,却愿意尽量尝试让我能够舒服些


English translations:
I give thanks, for when my shoulders are tired, there are people around me who are willing to help me carry my load.  
And some people, though they're not good at massaging, try their best to make me feel better.


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Sunday, November 18, 2012


就像雨,低声轻吼,大声歌唱,用力撕裂,让整个世界都湿透了,却依然找不到彩虹。
雨安静下来后,才发现,彩虹愿意拥抱的是温暖的太阳啊,不是打在身上会心疼的,豆大般的雨滴。
只有雨停了以后,才看得见彩虹温柔的美丽,和阳光共舞。
雨藏在云里,等着下一次想念的眼泪,不自觉地溢出来。

English translations:
Like the rain, I'm humming soft, singing out, screaming hard, the whole world is soaked, but I still couldn't find my rainbow. Only when the rain calmed down, did I realize, my rainbow embraces the warmth of the sun. Not the rain, which hits the body but pains the heart. Only when the rain stopped, can anyone see the gentle beauty of a rainbow, dancing in sunshine. I hide in the clouds, quietly waiting for my tears to overflow (as rain), the next time I miss my rainbow again.

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Monday, October 15, 2012


最后一次见到你的那天
我记得天空是染色的
彩虹的颜色

我们踩着脚踏车环游世界
两颗心连在一起
像我们骑着的车一样

梦一场
English translations:
The last time I ever saw you, I remember the sky was coloured.  All the beautiful colours of a rainbow.
We went round the world, our hearts joined, like the bikes we rode.
A dream
.leave.a.hug.

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Wednesday, September 19, 2012


Best friends are people you can discuss your retirement plans with. :) 

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Thursday, September 6, 2012

Humans are the only creatures on earth that will cut down trees, make paper, 
then write "SAVE TREES" on them.

Saw this line on twitter, it struck me how true it is.
What else can we do for our world?

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

我感恩我开心的时候想起的人们,在不开心的时候,可以想起我。
I give thanks, for the people I think of when I am happy, miss of me too when they're unhappy.

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Monday, August 20, 2012


Sometimes, I just want to hide in a little hut in the middle of nowhere.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

你现在想着谁     有没有和我相同的感觉
固执等着谁     却惊觉已无法倒退

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Friday, July 13, 2012

天上的星星虽多,亮光却永远比不上心目中的月亮。
阳光的拥抱虽然温暖,我想念的却是冷默安静的月光。

English translations:
The stars in the sky are many, but none of them as bright as the moon in my heart.
The embrace of the sun is warm, but I miss the quiet gentleness of my moonlight.

.leave.a.hug.

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Saturday, July 7, 2012

My math is so bad, I can't even measure how much I missed you.

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Friday, June 29, 2012

你说,下次见面的时候,我欠你一个拥抱。
我想,如果有天我们真的抱住了,我会抓紧。

English translations:
You say, next time we meet, I owe you a hug.
I think, if we really got hold of each other one day, I'll hold on tight.
.leave.a.hug.

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Tuesday, June 19, 2012


The greatest treasures are not gold, nor jewels, nor works of art.  They cannot be held in your hands, they're held within your heart.
For worldly things will fade away as seasons come and go, but the treasure of friendship will never lose its glow.
--Quoted from Fairy Mary, Tinkerbell and the Lost Treasure.

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Tuesday, June 12, 2012

She lifted her head and fluttered her wings.
Just a little more faith, Twinkletoes, and you'll be ready to fly.

Here's a quick update for those who have been asking bout where and when I'll be continuing my studies, a thank you note for caring enough to ask. :)

"Teaching is the profession that teaches all other professions."


I got accepted into teaching college in Penang, teaching English as a second language in Chinese medium schools, and registration is in two weeks time. It'll be a busy busy week ahead, too many things to do in too little time! Flight rickets to be settled, quite a bit of shopping and packing, a medical checkup, documents to be certified, and a driving test to pass. It's all gonna be a rushhhh, and I'm especially worried bout the driving test, 'cause gosh, I am not a talented driver at all!  But hmm, I'll just pray that I'll be more talented at teaching than driving then. :)

Having mixed feelings now actually. Happy to have a chance to leave home and maybe really learn to grow up, yet unwilling to leave behind people I love and people who love me. Especially my grandparents, they're so old now, I wish I can spend more time with them. I'm closer to them than to my parents, as both my parents work, the old folks were the ones who watched me grow up. They live right next door, I see them every single day.

My grandmother, my Ah-Ma, being eighty-four and uneducated, doesn't really understand when I explain to her things considering further studies. Her biggest wish is that I stay to study in the nearest uni in town, conveniently nearest to her. She is happy for me, now that I'm finally getting an idea of what I'm doing next, but I can tell she would really truly wish I need not leave her.

 I wish I need not leave her too.

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Sunday, June 10, 2012

我听雨轻轻哼着歌,慢慢唱着歌,最后甚至用力地撕裂着。
然后,雨累了,安静下来,又哼着歌睡着了。

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Wednesday, June 6, 2012


其实我多希望湿的不是你的枕头,是我的肩膀。
How I wished it wasn't your pillow that was drenched in your tears, I wished you wet shoulder instead.

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Tuesday, June 5, 2012

If you could start over again, would you have done things differently?
What would you change and why?

I'd spend more time with family, I'll listen to their stories, I'll make myself understand them.
I'd not hide secrets from my best friend, it hurts both parties.
I'd actually do some serious studying, then I wouldn't be hanging here, unsure of what to do next after high school.
I'd read more, all languages and all genres of books.
I'd want to learn music too, probably piano or guitar.
I'm eighteen and I have zero musical cells in me, I want to change that.
I'd learn to draw, to paint, to colour my world; it'll be a wonderful alternative to express my feelings other than using words.
I'd take up a sport, maybe swimming, maybe badminton.
And I'd......

So many things I want to do, but where do I start?
How about you?  Tell me your story.  :)

Monday, June 4, 2012

知足就是快乐,呼吸就是幸福,心跳就是你们。

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Friday, June 1, 2012

Today would have been our monthasary if our confessions worked out right.  (I assume your beating round the bush means no?)
Instead, today, I am struggling to convince myself to retreat to the safe friend zone, where happily ever afters do exist, just in a different way.  :)

Thank you for your carefree smiles, friendly shoulder pats, and those casual letters with your slanted handwriting.
Thank you for being my mindless dream, thank you for listening and dreaming with me.
Thank you for giving me inspiration and motivation.  Thank you for being here, and then slipping away.

Dear friend/crush/everything in between,
I wouldn't say I loved you, it's too strong a word for me to understand at this point of time.
But I really liked you a lot, and I wished we had a chance to learn to love too.

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Thursday, May 31, 2012

I want to be the reason you lose sleep and toss in bed all night.
And when you finally doze off, I want to be the reason you have sweet dreams.

I want to be everything you are to me.
Am I being too greedy?

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Wednesday, May 30, 2012

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Monday, May 28, 2012

There are some people who can make me overflow like a fountain without speaking a word.
These are the people I love and hate.

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Friday, May 25, 2012

With globalization going on in our world, people have learnt to chase after what they want, even if it means leaving home.  My country, Malaysia, is starting to face problems because of this. Our youngsters pack up and run, when they realize there is more to offer in the outside world. Many of my friends are studying outside our country now, and many of them do not plan to come back. What will happen to our home, if excellent youngsters who are supposed to be future country builders, roam around the world, building other people's countries?

Here is a song I just discovered today, not a new song anymore, but still a great song.  It's a Chinese song, so scroll down if you need English translations!  :)  你家在哪里 by 阿牛。阿牛 is a great Malaysian singer and composer, forced to leave home to pursue his dreams to be a musician, as the Chinese music industry isn't hot in our place.  He also filmed his own movie, to share with the world the story of his first love.  Well, too bad the relationship wasn't successful.


玩着沙的孩子 你叫什么名字
海边的那个村子 是不是你的家
从城市来到这里 要走一段很长很长的路
我为了要看海水的blue 看白云散步

听说你的哥哥姐姐现在也住在大城市
你眨着清澈的眼睛说长大后要离开这里

Eh… 这片海如此美丽 你还要去哪里
蓝蓝的天 蓝蓝的海 对你是不是太过安静
Eh… 如果你真的离去 不管你要到哪里
希望回来时你更能明白这片蓝
真的美丽
让这片蓝永远留在你的心里

有人离开以后会回来 有人一去不见踪影
季候风还是会到来 带给沙滩一样的风雨

我只是一个游客 不经意在这里遇见你
我留下来的每一个足迹 海浪会抚平

Where is Your Home? by ANiu
Hey, little child playing with sand on the shore, what's your name? The village by the sea, is that your home?  To come here from the city, I've walked a long long way. I just wanted to see the blue of the sea, walk by the shore and count the clouds in the sky. I heard your Big Brother and Big Sister are all living the the big city.  You blink your clear eyes, and say to me, you wanna leave too, when you grow up.

Heyy, this sea is so beautiful, where else do you wish to go? The blue sea and the blue sky, are they too quiet for you? Heyy, if you really leave, no matter where you go, I wish that when you come back, you'll understand even more how truly beautiful this shade of blue is. Bring this shade of blue with you in your heart.

Some people will return home after some time, some people will leave forever. The monsoon season will still visit our seas, it will give our shores the same rain and wind. I am just a traveler, we met out of the blue. Every footprint I leave on this shore, the waves will gently caress them away.

This is not a perfect translation, there will never be a perfect translation, for each language is unique.  I just wish to share this with people who cannot understand Chinese.


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Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Close your eyes, let the wind blow you away, to a faraway land.
Close your eyes and open your heart.


Breathe in the sky, release all that's bothering you with each breath.
Open your arms, embrace the night sky, the stars;
each star a dream yet to be reached.

Build up your courage, build your imagination.
And then, expand your kingdom, create your own Never Land;
make Peter Pan jealous.

Sing, paint a rainbow in the sky;
an upside down smile so colourful that people even forget it's sad.

Laugh with the moon, dance with the shining morning star;
never mind it's past your bedtime.


Swim in the endless sea of clouds, do a high dive.  
Play hide and seek with sunshine, in the Hundred Acre Woods Clouds.

And when the first yawn comes,
make a bed in the midst of those clouds;
have a pillow fight, bury yourself in those fluffy blankets.


Drift off to sleep and have sweet dreams.
We'll meet round the corner of Happy Land when morning comes, how 'bout that?



p.s.
If you have been following my blog, you'll surely have noticed how my posts were getting further and further apart, shorter and shorter.  And English posts have become a rare thing lately.  This terrible writer's block has been bothering me for so long, for a little over a year.  :/

Tonight, I am happy to announce, it's slowly coming back to me.  Love escaping from my fingertips, through the keys on the keyboard, onto the screen, to you.  It's the first time in months I wrote something I actually liked, something I could imagine and see in my mind, something beautiful.

I feel this love tonight, just me and my simplest, baby words.
I wish to feel this everyday.  :)